Recently I've been thinking about my life and the lack of spectacular things I've done. Reading other blogs and such, to my surprise I find out that I am older than someone, and they have either started their own store, line, company, career, something awesome, etc.
I'm 28 years old, 29 this coming February. What do I have to show for my life, my accomplishments? I asked my mother this last night and she replied, "Oh, besides GIVING BIRTH AND RAISING A CHILD?!" and naturally I said, "Yeah, besides that."
I've never had a goal I've wanted or bothered to work towards. Sure there have been plenty of times I've been jealous of someone for some reason and asking myself "Why cant I do or be this?" Of course I want what I want when I want it, right now. I fail to acknowledge that people have been working hard for the things they have and do, whereas me, I havent done much. I havent wanted to BE anything. I've never 'found' myself, I've never done any other schooling since graduating high school. Honestly, back then I never thought I would have made it much past twenty, nearly certain I was going to kill myself at some point.
I've been weird and awkward since junior high, not much has changed, and now I'm nearing close to 30, and my god! I'm an adult! Now what?!
I've been seeing goal lists, '28 things before 29' for example, which I think is a wonderful idea. But I dont think my list would be very big. Just over 2 months till my birthday, I dont think I could get much done anyways. (OH hello self-doubt. Whats up?)
Will being a mom be enough for now? Things can always change, one never knows what the future will bring.