Tuesday, November 23, 2010

While I ponder life...

Recently I've been thinking about my life and the lack of spectacular things I've done. Reading other blogs and such, to my surprise I find out that I am older than someone, and they have either started their own store, line, company, career, something awesome, etc.

I'm 28 years old, 29 this coming February. What do I have to show for my life, my accomplishments? I asked my mother this last night and she replied, "Oh, besides GIVING BIRTH AND RAISING A CHILD?!" and naturally I said, "Yeah, besides that."

I've never had a goal I've wanted or bothered to work towards. Sure there have been plenty of times I've been jealous of someone for some reason and asking myself "Why cant I do or be this?" Of course I want what I want when I want it, right now. I fail to acknowledge that people have been working hard for the things they have and do, whereas me, I havent done much. I havent wanted to BE anything. I've never 'found' myself, I've never done any other schooling since graduating high school. Honestly, back then I never thought I would have made it much past twenty, nearly certain I was going to kill myself at some point.

I've been weird and awkward since junior high, not much has changed, and now I'm nearing close to 30, and my god! I'm an adult! Now what?!
I've been seeing goal lists, '28 things before 29' for example, which I think is a wonderful idea. But I dont think my list would be very big. Just over 2 months till my birthday, I dont think I could get much done anyways. (OH hello self-doubt. Whats up?)

Will being a mom be enough for now? Things can always change, one never knows what the future will bring.


Being sick for the past week and a half really puts a kink in things. I havent done much at all besides mope around the house with kleenex in hand.
But today we're already fed, dressed, and nearly ready to leave the house. I dont get Kid #2 till this evening, so we have the day to actually do something, and it doesnt look too horrible outside! I'm thinking the consignment store, thrift store, bank, and starbucks, in no particular order. Hubby requested a few groceries.

Oh, and we have snow.

I think I need to start decorating for Christmas soon.

img from weheartit.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


So, this time I have a good excuse for not blogging much. HAHA!
I've taken on babysitting full time. Imehjen is another girl, 2 weeks older than Sophie, her mother and I were in the same prenatal classes and such. I thought it'd be nice to help her out since she was always stuck for a good babysitter, gives Sophie and Im a buddy to hang out with everyday, and keeps me busier, and I get some money too. Its win-win all around. Its been a few days now, and the girls are getting along great, and its so entertaining to watch them, especially when they're really into playing and being silly!

Its funny, because last week I was thinking about how much stuff Sophie has (thanks to me) and how spoiled she was getting, when now that there's another kid in the house, its perfect, now there are enough toys to go around and distract them. I may need another foam chair though.

I have to admit, I do have alot of fun with them too. Last night, I turned my entire living room into a fort, with a few entrances, and I had thrown all the couch cushions on the floor and tossed a quilt over top. So the girls were rolling and falling around and generally enjoying themselves. It was super cute.